If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
