Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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