What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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