Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
