Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize