Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
