let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
