We're facebook friends in real life
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize