I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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