So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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