So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
