just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize