Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
