I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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