I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
