Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
