bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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