somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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