yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
