This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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