sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
