will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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