Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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