did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
