I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
