think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
