dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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