you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize