I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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