Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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