ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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