I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize