when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
