my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
