Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
