So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
