bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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