I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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