I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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