Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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