We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
