remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
wow bdsm is so cute
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