belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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