Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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