Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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