I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize