Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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