Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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