North Korea, Best Korea!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
