Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
