I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
