Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
