I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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