I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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