addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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