So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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