'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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