I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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