Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize